Alternative 4th of July Stuff That Isn’t Fireworks

Jeffrey Somers
Jul 3, 2018 12:19 PM

Not everyone loves fireworks. While for many (most?), fireworks are an exciting light show in the sky, the sort of visual entertainment you can’t emulate at home, for a sizable minority they’re either boring or alarming. And most doggos and cats absolutely despise fireworks—after all, they don’t have Twitter to jump on and demand to know why the sky is suddenly exploding.So, if you’re bored or terrified of fireworks, what can you do this 4th of July that doesn’t involve grinning and bearing it as you sweat with some few thousands strangers, watching the show? Here are a few suggestions.

Sip and Paint

If the crowds and noise aren’t your cup of tea, why not get a group together, lay in supplies of wine and snacks, and set up an Artevino experience? Paint, imbibe, and hang out in a replaced environment that’s also about as far away from the noise as you can get without leaving town entirely. Most events go to 10PM, which should put just past the official fireworks show.

Snoop Dogg

Okay, there’s gonna be fireworks at the Freedom and Fireworks Festival in Jersey City, not gonna lie. There’s also Snoop Dogg, which is one of the biggest pulls a festival in this area has managed in a very long time. And it’s free. So while you’re not escaping the fireworks, you are at least getting more out of the experience.

See a Movie

There’s always good old Bow Tie theaters, which has evening showings most Wednesdays that ought to get you through the fireworks in air-conditioned comfort, a tub of popcorn in your lap. Pick a nice loud action movie and you might not even notice the explosions going on in the real world outside.

Go Camping

As a final resort, you can always just leave town entirely. While most municipalities will have some sort of fireworks going on, the further you get from civilization itself, the quieter it will be. Maybe this is the time to check out some of our national parks? Celebrate Independence Day in peace and quiet with a beverage of your choice and nothing but crickets to serenade you.Fireworks are a grand tradition in this country, but whether you’re just tired of the noise, the crowds, or pretending to enjoy them in the first place, remember there are alternatives! Next up, we’ll tackle the other boring tradition some people love and some people hate: Parades.

Jeffrey Somers
Staff Writer
Jeff Somers ( is the author of 9 novels including We Are Not Good People ( and the publisher of The Inner Swine ( Jeff may be reach at . Follow him on Twitter at @jeffreysomers .